a deep unrest

It has been growing. An unrest that is starting to rumble, deep down. No, it's not my bowels.

Where to start? With the monarchs? The micro-beads? The bees? Maybe I should start with plastics and recycling, or the impending ice age. Should I start with generational error resulting in destruction?

Oh dear.

So this unrest. It's the world. The world and the state of it.

People, I am feeling really dismayed.

"The Lion was pacing to and fro about that empty land and singing his new song. It was softer and more lilting than the song by which he had called up the stars and the sun; a gentle, rippling music. And as he walked and sang the valley grew green with grass. It spread out from the Lion like a pool. It ran up the sides of the little hills like a wave. In a few minutes it was creeping up the lower slopes of the distant mountains, making that young world every moment softer. The light wind could now be heard ruffling the grass. Soon there were other things besides grass. The higher slopes grew dark with heather. Patches of rougher and more bristling green appeared in the valley. Digory did not know what they were until one began coming up quite close to him. It was a little, spiky thing that threw out dozens of arms and covered these arms with green and grew larger at the rate of about an inch every two seconds. There were dozens of these things all round him now. When they were nearly as tall as himself he saw what they were. 'Trees!' he exclaimed.
...The tree which Digory had noticed first was now a full-grown beech whose branches swayed gently above his head. They stood on cool, green grass, sprinkled with daisies and buttercups. A little way off, along the river bank, willows were growing. On the other side tangles of flowering currant, lilac, wild rose, and rhododendron closed them in. The horse was tearing up delicious mouthfuls of new grass. All this time the Lion's song, and his stately prowl, to and fro, backwards and forwards, was going on."

This beautiful imagery of the dawn of a world is from the book "The Magician's Nephew" by CS Lewis. In light of the state of the world, and the shocking lack of concern that so many people seem to have, I find this imagery bringing a tear to my eye. What a beautiful thing to conjure up - the creation of an earth-like world in which a song sung by a maker brings forth life!

Yes, so it's the state of the world today that is deeply bothering me.

I joined, partly for fun, and partly because I wanted to get more serious about it, a challenge. It is the David Suzuki "Queen of Green" challenge, a challenge for people who are in charge of their homes (aka stay at home parents, or anyone I suppose!) to make some big changes, to set goals and educate themselves and influence others to do the same.

My dear friend, Kelly, got me on to this and has been a great source of inspiration. I find myself, though, more and more dismayed at how much there is to fight against. Whether it's during the "garbage" module, looking at how much packaging there is on so much food, how much we consume, how much garbage is produced, and how much our society relies on heavily packaged products to sustain a "normal" life; or whether it's during the "food" module in which I'm faced with the astounding and repulsive amount of chemicals and processed garbage we consume on a daily basis (that I'm even feeding to my children!); or whether it's in the "toxins" module in which I get to take a closer look at our household chemicals and how much damage we're doing by using these horrible things like weed killers (that "Round Up" is STILL sold in stores!) and tile cleaners and dish soap and shampoo and make up and a myriad of other products. I find myself rather speechless.

My littlest duckling, shopping with a "kid cart" and her cloth shopping bag. (Please don't notice that I was weak on this day and purchased a bagged salad!!! I'm human!!!) 

Ryan spent the evening in our community common house the other night watching a movie called "(R)Evolution". Here's the trailer, if you're interested (click at the top left). He came back pumped up - ready to change the way we live. I couldn't have been happier, and yet after a good night's sleep, I saw the same pattern in him that I know all too well.

1. Education accompanied by shock.
2. Shock transforming into Fear, then into Motivation.
3. Motivation feeling halted by the enormity of the problem.
4. The enormity of the problem causing a feeling of helplessness.
5. Avoidance.

While Ryan didn't get to stage 5, he certainly stooped into number 4. We talked about it while he expressed his helpless feelings.

"How could we as two people (or five, however you look at it) actually make any difference?"

This was a helpful conversation to have actually. It has been something I've been asking myself, exploring, seeking answers to.

The thing is, as big and powerful as monsters like Monsanto and Nestle are, we can make a dent in the system, even if it's a small one initially.

You see, the way this challenge is set up is that my friend Kelly became a Queen of Green coach. Then she collected 4 of us women to start the challenge under her guidance. Once we've done it, I imagine we'll be able to lead our own groups. It's like a grand old pyramid scheme, but rather than making money, we're working towards improving the state of the earth!

That's got to make some kind of difference, right?

Right. It's something. It makes a difference. The heartening thing about even US changing how we do things is how shocking a difference it makes in things like the amount of garbage we now put out at the curb. It is dramatically reduced. Dramatically. This is partly because of creating a new and more diverse recycling system in our house, sourcing out places I can recycle odds and ends that aren't collected at the curb, and making big changes in our purchase choices. Heck, I am even stopping using produce bags at the store! That's right! If I want 8 apples, maybe I'll bring my own bag, but if I want 2 avocados, they really don't need their own bag. It's THESE changes that will make a difference as they accumulate.

And if I'm able to inspire others along the way? All the better!!

The helpful reminder on our garbage can - to stop and ask whether what you're throwing away can be recycled or put in the food waste/compost. :)

My "tupperware" drawer, slowly making the transition to using jars, glass and fabric containers instead of plastic. 

The recipe list posted on my cupboard. About 5 ingredients that can make all of these household cleaners and products. I've been trying them with great success!

And so I will hold on to the hope that the changes I'm making and the people I talk to who get excited as I explain my household transformation will all result in good things. It's all I can hope for as I breathe through this unrest I have. And for now, it is enough.