Gift List (By Laura)

We have never really done the Christmas "gift list" thing around here.  I've often thought it was a super great idea for the receiver, but a super impersonal idea for the giver.  I know many people do it, and like it that way, but I just feel that it kind of takes away the joy of really thinking about giving something that is from the heart.

(That said, sometimes it's nice to just have an idea of what the person would like!!)

This year, we are doing a deliberately simple Christmas with the girls.  It WON'T be simple in terms of family time, enjoying the festivities and the season, making all sorts of Christmassy decorations and treats, or planning wintery activities.  It WILL be simple in the area of gifts.

This is always a struggle for us.  We have tried again and again to "simplify" gift giving, to focus on the beauty of the season and the simple story of a young teenage girl giving birth in a stable in a foreign city, having travelled days sitting on a donkey, likely having early labour pains (LET'S JUST IMAGINE THAT FOR A MOMENT - EUGH), with her new husband who she hasn't even slept with yet.  Yikes - that makes for a rather dramatic scene, doesn't it?

I am way off track already.

So, we have tried to hold back on the overload of gifts.  We would like the season to be about more than a greedy present bash.  The thing is, it is so fun to spoil them.  So many years we said, "let's just get them a small amount of gifts each" and come December we end up picking up this and that, allowing ourselves the luxury of spending more and more as we get them "just one more thing".  They end up with a mound, somewhat defeating the purpose of our simplification idea.  Sigh.

A little while back we heard of a family who does a neat thing, and we're going to do it this year.  It's a simple idea.  Gold.  Frankincense.  Myrrh.  The three gifts given by the magi to that little boy, maybe two or three years old by then, who was growing and learning about the world he was born into, his mother now in her mid- or late teens, and his father a humble carpenter.  Those strange visitors came from a foreign land in the East, and bowed down to him as if he was a king, giving him these three gifts.

Gold was the gift of a true king - riches and splendor.  Frankincense was a sweet incense that symbolized prayer rising to the heavens as smoke.  Myrrh was used in death, to prepare a body for burial.

The three gifts we will be giving correspond with these three gifts given centuries ago.  GOLD will be a gift that will be loved, for no other reason than she will enjoy it - perhaps something she has been hoping for.  FRANKINCENSE will be a spiritual gift - something that will help her develop and grow in understanding of herself and the world around her.  MYRRH will be a gift that is useful and practical.  (No, not anything to do with death - haha!!)

And that is it!  We hope to establish this as the new "norm" in our family, to grow good things like thankfulness, meaningfulness, appreciation, and to vear away from the (so easily adopted) attitude of "I want more".

Thankfulness.  This is a theme I've been thinking a lot about.  I'm reading a really good book right now about thankfulness, its power and the way it leads us to new and amazing places, and have begun to list things, big and small, that I'm thankful for - gifts that I receive during my days that strike me as simply wonderful.

And so, with no further ado, here is my very own gift list for today.  The gifts I've received as I've trudged through the first half of it and look forward to the remaining hours.  Enjoy!

The lingering life of flowers given by neighbours over a week ago. 

The joy I witnessed in the girls' frolic through our fallen leaves last night. 

The sunrise this morning, from my favourite spot on the couch. 

A beautiful walk and good conversation this morning.

The cozy feeling I have when I put on my "new" second-hand sweatshirt. 

Perusing old photos and remembering the fun of Ryan's 30th birthday "wig party". 

Memories of squishy babies snuggled in slings.

This video of my husband doing one of his interpretive dances, 

and how hard I get laughing when he does this.

the need to readjust (By Laura)

It's fall.  This is a lovely, beautiful season.  It is filled with the scent of pumpkin and turkey and apples and all sorts of heart-warming foods.  It is filled with the smell of crunch, dry leaves, the feel of the cold air on your face as you step out the door, the sharpness of a slowly distancing sun.

It's also a season of readjusting to a different pace.  The school year begins, and in many ways beyond school, rhythms take on a new importance.  In my life, the new school year, the end of summer galavanting, and the close of the warm season mark a distinct change of pace.

We had a wonderful summer.  Really, it was so nice.  We went away weekend after weekend to fun activities like camping, family reunions, meet-ups with friends and little family adventures.  The weather was beautiful, the roads were welcoming, and we did as many fun and exciting things as we could.  But in spite of the fact that we homeschool, and in spite of the fact that we like to buck the trends of society, fall brought with it a need to hunker down at home, organize ourselves, set some goals, plan curriculums, register for extracurricular activities, and dedicate ourselves once again to work and life as it is during much of the year.

With all this readjustment to a more grounded rhythm comes a lot of work.  Helping the girls adjust to new classes, teachers, environments, schoolwork, and grade-levels takes a lot of energy.  Booking appointments that have been put off through the summer, being intentional about spending time with close friends, Ryan getting into the busier season at work, myself getting into a more organized rhythm of connection with my clients, trying to force myself out of bed before the rest of the family to carve out some alone time - all this takes energy and ends up making me feel like I'm just barely staying on top of things.  

Thankfully this hectic time doesn't last forever.  It's now mid-October and I'm feeling the weight of the readjustment lifting.  I'm feeling the rhythms become more natural, more habitual, and it's a nice relief!  Going through this again though, as I do every year, is a really good reminder that it is so easy for life to become filled to the brim with all sorts of stuff, and that I need to keep myself in check and try and keep my schedule and commitments on the simpler side.

You see, this is just another way to live more simply!  Over the past five years or so, I've gone through some ups and downs that have really taught me about my own personal limits, that I have a hard time saying no (not out of guilt, but out of desire to be a helper wherever there's a need), that I NEED to carve out time for myself and that I needn't apologize for that.  These lessons have taught me about a slower, simpler way of being, and it's a rich lesson to learn.  If I carve out space, or rather, create a rhythm that involves space from the get-go, I am a much more content, fulfilled and peaceful person.  If I fail to do that, as I have been in the pattern of doing since my first daughter was born, I end up being agitated, anxious, unhealthily impulsive, and moody.  It's not fun to be that person, nor is it fun to be around her.  

So as the wildness of the fall readjustment wanes, I am also trying to readjust my priorities to reflect that which I truly value: time with my family, time by myself, time serving others, time connecting with those around me.

Wish me much luck, and have a lovely remainder of October.  xoxo

*I hate to post artwork without naming the artist, but this is an image of a painting that I collected somewhere long ago and don't know the artist's name.  If you know it, do let me know! 

tea for two (By Laura)

Teacup empty.  Couch vacated.  Driveway cleared.  Quiet descends.

I just finished a nice long visit with a friend.  It was much needed.  I've had a few days of feeling spent, tired of housework, stressed out by meal prep and cleanup, exhausted with homeschool, exasperated with parenting, and so much more.  You know those days?

Here was my facebook status the other day:

Ever have one of those days when everything goes wrong? For instance, homeschooling goes so badly that you consider dropping your kids off at the local public school and booking a flight, and after working for hours getting your "for sale" house ready for a showing, and loading the antsy-pants kids into the van, the darn battery is dead because someone left a light on? And after a neighbour tries and fails to jumpstart it, finally BCAA comes and does it, then you drive off only to stop for much needed milk and a quick treat for your poor kids who have been waiting for hours, and turn off the van, only to return and remember you were supposed to let it run for at least 45 minutes, and the battery is dead again? Then you have to call the same BCAA guy and have him come jumpstart it again? Then you get to your destination, stay for dinner, and then forget the all-important much needed milk there? Then you get home and make lunches for the whole family for the next day, and bathe in the triumph of using ONE BANANA TO MAKE FIVE PB AND BANANA SANDWICHES? Naw, me neither.

I generally like to keep things positive.  I don't like to be too doomsday, too negative, too "life is all about me".  Some days it's hard though, so while I posted this miserable status, I had to make it funny, to at least have a good laugh about it all!!  And, I mean, it really was quite a feat - the banana thing.  

So it was nice to sit and talk.  It was nice to connect, to commiserate (she has kids herself, although older now, and can really relate to some of my feelings), to be heard and not judged.  It was also nice to listen and hear her stories, and her challenges, and her current life ongoings.  We talked about parenting, the amazing and horrendously difficult job of being a parent, and of course about our adventures in simplifying.  

As I was telling her about the journey, and as I was reflecting on it last night as well, some thoughts occurred to me, or rather, have been occurring.  They aren't fully formed, but they have to do with vulnerability.  

Vulnerability is SO hip these days, thanks to Brene Brown.  Yes, that woman has done some great work in communicating really important thoughts about vulnerability that is so good to hear and think about.  If you haven't already, check out this YouTube video of her at the Ted Talks.

So I've been thinking about this vulnerability thing.  I am someone, like so many of us, who really tries NOT to present my weaknesses to the world.  Apart from not really trusting peoples' reactions (and I'm a fairly sensitive person), I also worry that I'm going to be adding negativity into people's lives which bothers me.  I feel like if I'm vulnerable, and don't hide my negative side, or maybe we should say "all the sides of me", then somehow that will make life less enjoyable for others.

BUT WILL IT?

I am starting to think that no, it won't.  Possibly, just possibly, being vulnerable, putting myself out there, laying my thoughts out for the wolves, might just inspire.  It might get others to do the same.  It might, actually, bring me closer to others.

And this is what I'm seeing.

When I started this blog, or "we" actually, even though Ryan hasn't done a post yet..., it was a big step.  It was hard to make this whole idea public.  We worried that people would laugh.  Or roll their eyes.  Or tell us we weren't the first to think this up.  Or belittle us for some other reason.  We worried that people would think we were stupid, or crazy, or reckless.

I don't doubt that there are some who do think some of those things.  The thing is, this whole process has brought about such a huge wave of connection with people, we have been knocked right over!  So many people have been excited about this for us.  So many have talked about going through their own process of writing down their values.  It has been humbling.  Amazing.

So thanks for those of you who have spoken up and told us.  It's good to know we're all on these journeys, be the journeys similar or different from our own.  Onward into the day!

I'll have to talk more about this in an upcoming blog post, as my thoughts take more shape.  For now, little Pony just woke up and is in a wild tantrum rage in her crib.  Aaaah, real life descends once again.  Haha.

the good stuff (By Laura)

I was really, really annoyed at 7:45 this evening.  It was a little bit past the girls' bedtimes (yep, they go to bed that early, my friends) and I had been jumped and climbed on one too many times.  We had eaten an early dinner of burritos (for the little ladies) and yogurt and granola (for us adults).  The dark, rainy day had left us all feeling cozy and wanting an easy, enjoyable dinner, and while the girls watched "Alice in Wonderland" on YouTube, I whipped up the food and let them eat while they watched so Ryan and I could sit in the living room and munch our food over a nice conversation.

It was a lovely idea until Pony, who's 2 and a half, started wandering in and out with her sour creamy fingers, and then asked for a mandarin orange which she squirted and sprayed all over the coffee table.  Juice and chunks and pieces of peel spread around, and she headed back to her burrito to finish the job, naked as the day she was born.  

Nudity at dinner is totally acceptable around here.  :)

If it hadn't been for Ryan feeling under the weather and myself feeling tired and a little achy as well, we would have possibly been a little more concerned about the mess(es) she was creating, but we just let it slide and it felt good.  Dinner in front of the computer, after all, is quite an exciting event around here!  We fight the urge to use screens to entertain the girls (and ourselves) in general, but the weekends are much more relaxed and we often end up watching a movie or two together or having them choose one to watch.  YouTube is really wonderful.  :)

The movie ended and we cleaned up, returning our house to its previous immaculate state.  You see, we had a showing today!  In fact, it wasn't the first!  It has been exciting to see the interest begin since we put it on the market about a week ago.  Having the house this clean is both a joy and a little bit of torture.  A joy because Ryan is completely at peace.  He LOVES it to be immaculately clean, and it makes him feel like he can relax and just chill out.  If it's messy, he has a really hard time with it.  

Myself, I don't mind a bit of clutter, or a bit of "stuff" lying about.  As long as it's tidy-ish.  I don't mind the odd pile of papers, the "special nostalgic items" sitting on top of the piano or the mantle, or things artfully decorating corners of the rooms.  I'm rather artistic in my design of things, and kind of like an eclectic feel to a space.  Ryan does win out though, because really, immaculate spaces don't entirely stress me out like messy spaces do him.  I do feel a little uncomfortable in a place that feels like a museum (this is what I like to argue he wants our place to feel like), because it feels like you can't lay a finger on anything for fear of messing it up, but I just make sure it still feels like home in my own ways. :)

So after our rather informal dinner, the girls got off the computer (amazingly, with no complaints!) and joined us in the living room where we did a little tradition that we've been getting into casually over the past many months: highs and lows.

Highs and lows is just as you might imagine - we each take a turn to tell the family a good thing about our day and a not great thing.  Some people say, "something you're grateful for and something you're not grateful for", or "something that brought you life and something that didn't bring you life" or other similar ideas, but highs and lows is just simple and easy to understand.  Even Pony tries her best.  Tonight, her high was, "playing" and while I could think of a number of times when she hit low points today (thanks to the ever communicative tantrum), she said she wasn't sad today at all.  And so be it.  

It's always interesting to hear what the other two say.  I'm often surprised that what I perceived to be a low point in, say, Pito's day, wasn't such a big deal to her, and that Plava's high points were points that I wouldn't have necessarily guessed.  Now, today wasn't like that.  Plava's high points all had to do with candy and cookies she got at church, but you know.  There are those times too!  :)

The nice thing about doing the highs and lows is that it's great to get a chance to really reflect on the day, and what brings life to us individually, and what takes life away and brings us down.  We decided tonight that it would be interesting to keep a family journal, or a list, of our daily highs and lows, and look at it from time to time to see patterns and learn more about each other.  Wouldn't that be interesting?

For instance, my low was a moment this morning when I was feeling sorry for myself because of something I wished I had.  And that speaks to my general feelings of self-pity that I deal with on a daily basis.  My high was visiting my clients this afternoon and getting the chance to breathe some confidence into the mom as she doubted her ability to breastfeed her baby.  I got this amazing chance to be a true tool of change for her, and that is a gift that I can't take for granted.  I think it speaks to how much I yearn to really make a difference with people outside my general circle of friends, and how much life I receive from truly serving the people I work with!

After we shared highs and lows, we got the girls into PJ's and went down to their bedroom to read the final few chapters in a novel I've been reading to them.  I know, it sounds so quintessential, right?  A cute little family all huddled around a book in the evening, in their "jammies", snuggled and giggling and just as happy as can be.  Nope.  Pony jumped on and off my lap so many times that I was needing to whisper "patience..." to myself just to keep from throwing her physically onto the floor and away from me.  Plava was listening intently but rolling around on the floor, nearly kicking my in the head again and again.  Pito was jumping around the room, poking Pony and causing screamy tantrums, and then whining that she "didn't know what to do" and just wanted to watch the movie (the book was made into a movie - note to self: don't tell them that before you read it....).  I had just about reached the end of my rope by the time the book was over, but managed to calm myself enough to enjoy a loving good-night before scooting out of the room and upstairs.  

And now they're all asleep.

It's these small things within our family that are so good.  The laid-back Sunday meals in front of the screen, the sharing of highs and lows, and sitting around reading a book together - these things are the things of life!  What would we do without them?  We'd be less connected, possibly less happy, maybe even feel that we knew each other less.  I love these things, even though I felt so fed up by the end of it.  I wouldn't trade these times for anything.  

I really do hope that as we make the transition to a smaller place and enter a life in which we don't have as much yard work, things to fix, stuff to put away, and physical distance between us, we have more space to do more of this.  I love the idea.  Love it.  

Simply wonderful.  Wonderfully simple.  Can't wait.  

the (sweet) small things (By Laura)

It was a crisp, sunny afternoon yesterday, and the sun glistened off the wet road and grass and leaves that had been rained on only hours before.  It was the kind of sun that was sharp and more distant than the summer sun.  It was warm, but not hot; it felt like fall.  No leaves had dropped off yet, though the trees seemed to show signs of fatigue, and even the smell in the air spoke of the season to come.

It was the first day of school for most kids.  Many of our friends' children would be nervously entering their new classrooms and meeting their new teachers.  Part of me remembered with nostalgia the excitement and nervousness of the first day of high school, feeling older and yet so young at the same time.  Oh the torture of that morning routine.  How could one brush their teeth when their teeth were chattering?  Fall, and particularly that day after labour day, bring new things, new beginnings.

Even though we homeschool, we all feel that same jittery feeling.  In my own heart, it displays itself both in bubbling excitement and in a wee sense of dread that it's going to be a really hectic month.  September is just crazy.  Just.  Crazy.  New routines, new activities, new leaves to turn over, and now, a new way of living as we embark on this simplicity thing.

I was amazed and gleeful when I heard my two older girls say, "Mom, we wish we were starting homeschool TODAY."  Our two days of classes don't start for another two weeks, and I had been planning to start homeschool next week.  We just got back from our road trip two days ago and I needed some days to organize my thoughts and ground myself.  Apparently they had something else in mind!  What a great way to start the school year - with excitement and longing.

This year, we will be trying to keep things simple, and let me tell you, it's not easy with kids.  As a parent, it's so easy to fall into the trap of living vicariously through your kids.  That parent within me wants them to try EVERY ACTIVITY AVAILABLE because, well, there's just SO MUCH to try!!!  Horse riding lessons, learning an instrument, sports, art classes, cooking classes, gymnastics, dance, the list goes on and on and on.  And I'm just talking about extracurricular stuff here!  (Although it kind of all melds into the school experience since we generally do homeschool classes held during the day...)  The girls are also really excited about a homeschool theatre program they'll be in this year.  They get to rehearse once a week for the entire year, and then put on a professional-level musical in the spring.  THIS, my friends, is exciting.

But to fit in all these things as well as school....let me just say that I need to be REALLY deliberate about how choosy I am.  Schedules can NOT be overly full.  That just doesn't fit with our philosophy of simplicity, and I just don't think it's a good thing in general!  Kids need down time, people!  They need quiet, restful, creative time!  Alone!  (But I digress...)

I sat down to get some things sorted and after a wee bit, decided to make some chai.  It's a recipe a friend gave me that is so delicious, so sweet and spicy and warm.  It reminds me of fall, and it reminds me of being simple.  It's the moments in which I get to sit with a cup of chai and read a book or gaze out the window that make me feel human, afloat, grounded.

And so to you all I wish the most wonderful, joy-filled, exciting, and fulfilling September imaginable.  I intend to do it up right, with chai in a mug, a good book in hand, and three rascally, funny, lovely girls by my side.


Recipe for Chai
I never received portions, so I just throw a bunch of stuff in and it tastes great every time!  Just try and put more tea than spices.

Loose Leaf Tea - Assam or Rooibos (or both)
Cardamom Seeds
Fennel Seeds
Cinnamon Stick
Black Pepper Seeds (optional)
Fresh Ginger (not optional - a whole chunk of it!)

Throw it all into a pot with, oh, 6 cups of water?  Boil, then reduce and simmer for 1 hour.

After an hour, pour it all into a pot.

Add the same amount of milk/soy milk/almond milk (6 cups?), add honey, another cinnamon stick, and more ginger, and heat.

Strain and serve immediately or cool in the fridge for a lovely cool chai drink!

reconsidering connectivity (By Laura)

This was my facebook status yesterday:

"So far, I am more frustrated than pleased with the new iOS. This is a serious first world problem. Someone bring me some cheesecake."

I thought it was funny.  And it's true - the latest download of for the iPhone system has bogged my smartphone down and it is now jamming fairly regularly.  Annoying, especially when I use my phone for all sorts of things throughout the day.  Google maps, email, facebook, surfing, calendar, camera... the list goes on.

(Why do we still refer to them as "phones" anyway?)

I'm guessing most people would decide that the system needs to be tweaked so we can get back to our normal use of the phone.  I feel somewhat differently.  My beef lies with the fact that I've become completely reliant on the thing.  This bothers me.  I can't tell you why.  It just does.

I guess I feel that I don't want to be a slave to a little computer in my hand.  I don't actually enjoy being connected all the time, everywhere I go.  I don't enjoy that I pick it up at all hours of the day just to fill a moment of boredom.  Boredom is a GOOD THING, people!  Those are the moments in which we think about things, about life, when we get creative ideas, make plans, make decisions!  If I am filling up every little empty moment with my phone, I am missing out.  MISSING OUT.  I can't emphasize this enough.  I can say that my life has become more full and less thoughtful since I got the iPhone.  

I was watching Harry Potter: The Philosopher's Stone the other day with Plava (note to self: that movie is too scary for an 8 year old!), and reflected on the fact that when the kids were wanting to know about a certain character that had been named, they had to do some research in the library...in BOOKS.  When do we do that now?  Remember having to do that in school?  I mean, I never liked research.  I found it tedious.  But really, there is something lost when we wonder something and then just reach for our phones and google it.  Instant access to all sorts of information, good or bad.

Louis C K, the comedian, was recently on a talk show talking about this smartphone business and really says some good, and sad, things about it.  Here - watch it.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/yR8E8wQhseA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

And so here I am, wondering, for the thousandth time in the past year, whether I should trade the iPhone in for a good old flip phone.  My cousin suggested this humorously in the comments of my status, and it reminded me of the huge impact this would have on my level of constant busyness.  A simple flip phone with calls and texts only.  That sounds so heavenly.  Yes, it would be harder to go back to using a map book, and reducing the frequency of my email and facebook checks (from 50 a day to 2 or 3), but doesn't that sound refreshing?  Doesn't it sound like there would be so much more room for, oh, reading, thinking, sitting still and listening, enjoying the flavour of a good cup of coffee, feeling the warm sun on my face, smelling the crunchy leaves of fall?  It's enough to make me swoon.

Well, we shall see.  I think it may fit very well with this whole simplifying thing....

(PS - here's a link to another great piece on the overuse of smartphones!)
http://gawker.com/short-film-about-smartphone-overuse-is-smart-poignant-1189811144

because we like the "little things"... (By Laura)

So we have been doing lots of making of things.  The girls and I made a rubber egg over the past few days with vinegar, an egg and a jar.  Remember that experiment?  Fun!

We've been making chai, as you know, and (a family favourite:) kale chips....

(YUM!)

...and caramel apple cider (so delicious!)...

And Ryan has made, once again, his famous home made yogurt.  How I love it.  Yum!  

This is all a part of the change.  It's not just about a smaller home.  It's not just about less stuff.  It's about enjoying the simple, enjoyable things in life - having the space the enjoy it!  Having the time and the moments to enjoy it!  Even though life has been hectic over the past while, we are carving out space for these things, and it makes all the difference.  

Here are some recipes fer y'all.

Caramel Apple Cider

http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/caramel-apple-cider/a2c74261-0a5c-4bbf-8e08-ed347ff58e75

Kale Chips

Ingreds: Kale, Olive Oil, Sea Salt

Wash, dry and tear the kale into pieces.  Place in bowl and toss with olive oil and sea salt.  Put in oven at 350 degrees for 10-15 minutes, until crispy but still green (not turning yellow).  EAT!

Homemade Yogurt

http://www.davidlebovitz.com/2013/05/homemade-yogurt-recipe/