I stood there awkwardly with the newspapers and mail in my arms, wondering whether I should have waited a bit longer. Pito and Pony were climbing in one of our front yard trees and I was standing, watching the back end of our neighbours' car that had just pulled in, down the long driveway that separates our lots and into their back yard area.
"They're probably really tired after a long drive. I should just come back in a bit..." I thought to myself, reminding myself that they're older, and they might not be up for news such as this right away.
So I turned to walk back into our house when I heard, "Laura!"
She had just gotten out of the car and spotted me holding their mail and papers and wanted to take them off my hands. Janet (we'll call her) has a soft spot for us, and particularly the girls, and is always happy to pop out and say hello, asking the girls what's going on in their little lives that day. She walked back and I went to meet her, handing her the mail. Chatter ensued. They had a nice trip, were heading off again in a few days and we would be watching their place again while they were away. Same old story - the loveliest of neighbour relationships. We watch out for each other, water each others' plants and gardens, and make sure the house looks secure while the other is away. They almost always bring back little gifts or treats for our girls, and we have even come home to fresh groceries in our fridge. You really can't beat that! We've received soup when we had strep throat, and lots and lots of stories of the neighbourhood in the "old days". Bob (we'll call him) is a talker! He has a good two or three stories to tell every time we see him, and a good story-teller he is with his smooth radio persona kind of voice! He loves putting on funny voices for the girls and making them laugh, ranting about how things aren't as safe as they were once (back when he would just call the police when they were going out of town so they'd keep an eye on the place), and making sure the girls are helping their mom bring in the groceries and empty garbage cans. He's an old school hero, and we love it!
So when there was a pause in the conversation with Janet, I had to begin to tell her what I had come out to say. "So, we wanted to let you guys know that.... (pause, and she looked at me with a sad, knowing look)...we've decided to put the place on the market and move on." I didn't know what else to say, so I just kept going with everything in my brain. "We are so sad to leave you guys. In fact, you were a huge consideration in whether we would leave at all, but we just feel the need to pare down and have a smaller place, which will allow us a little more financial space to do more as a family. It's so hard but we made the decision. We're really sad to have to tell you."
She nodded and looked understanding, and said, "I understand, but oh that makes me feel almost like crying!" and then she teared up. And then so did I. And I said, "Me too!! It's so hard because we have such wonderful neighbours and we'll miss you guys a lot!" "Well, so do we! But I understand." Smiles and trying to choke down tears.
Then the girls ran over and started chatting, and Bob rounded the corner, telling jokes and chatting. I bid them farewell with a quick, "Tell him the sad news..." towards Janet, to which she nodded and smiled. And I went back in.
Tears. More tears. Then a good blubber in the bathroom.
That was so much harder than I anticipated. I knew it would be hard. In fact, I had been anxious about it all week. We needed to tell them as soon as they got home because the sign would be going up soon and we didn't want to surprise them. Oh the pain of that moment!!
It's a day later already but I still feel sad. I still feel teary over it. I wish I could bring them along to be our next door neighbours wherever we go. But we can't. It's one of the hardest parts about leaving this place. I would argue that it's harder than anything we've had to do yet, including taking the step to list the house.
I love those neighbours. Last year we had them over for Thanksgiving dinner, and we will again this year, and I hope to keep inviting them as the years go on, because all it takes is effort to keep connected, you know? All it takes is a call, or an email, and you're back together.
I'm usually okay with goodbye's, but this was a really, really rotten one. Don't really know what else to say...!
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