the good stuff (By Laura)

I was really, really annoyed at 7:45 this evening.  It was a little bit past the girls' bedtimes (yep, they go to bed that early, my friends) and I had been jumped and climbed on one too many times.  We had eaten an early dinner of burritos (for the little ladies) and yogurt and granola (for us adults).  The dark, rainy day had left us all feeling cozy and wanting an easy, enjoyable dinner, and while the girls watched "Alice in Wonderland" on YouTube, I whipped up the food and let them eat while they watched so Ryan and I could sit in the living room and munch our food over a nice conversation.

It was a lovely idea until Pony, who's 2 and a half, started wandering in and out with her sour creamy fingers, and then asked for a mandarin orange which she squirted and sprayed all over the coffee table.  Juice and chunks and pieces of peel spread around, and she headed back to her burrito to finish the job, naked as the day she was born.  

Nudity at dinner is totally acceptable around here.  :)

If it hadn't been for Ryan feeling under the weather and myself feeling tired and a little achy as well, we would have possibly been a little more concerned about the mess(es) she was creating, but we just let it slide and it felt good.  Dinner in front of the computer, after all, is quite an exciting event around here!  We fight the urge to use screens to entertain the girls (and ourselves) in general, but the weekends are much more relaxed and we often end up watching a movie or two together or having them choose one to watch.  YouTube is really wonderful.  :)

The movie ended and we cleaned up, returning our house to its previous immaculate state.  You see, we had a showing today!  In fact, it wasn't the first!  It has been exciting to see the interest begin since we put it on the market about a week ago.  Having the house this clean is both a joy and a little bit of torture.  A joy because Ryan is completely at peace.  He LOVES it to be immaculately clean, and it makes him feel like he can relax and just chill out.  If it's messy, he has a really hard time with it.  

Myself, I don't mind a bit of clutter, or a bit of "stuff" lying about.  As long as it's tidy-ish.  I don't mind the odd pile of papers, the "special nostalgic items" sitting on top of the piano or the mantle, or things artfully decorating corners of the rooms.  I'm rather artistic in my design of things, and kind of like an eclectic feel to a space.  Ryan does win out though, because really, immaculate spaces don't entirely stress me out like messy spaces do him.  I do feel a little uncomfortable in a place that feels like a museum (this is what I like to argue he wants our place to feel like), because it feels like you can't lay a finger on anything for fear of messing it up, but I just make sure it still feels like home in my own ways. :)

So after our rather informal dinner, the girls got off the computer (amazingly, with no complaints!) and joined us in the living room where we did a little tradition that we've been getting into casually over the past many months: highs and lows.

Highs and lows is just as you might imagine - we each take a turn to tell the family a good thing about our day and a not great thing.  Some people say, "something you're grateful for and something you're not grateful for", or "something that brought you life and something that didn't bring you life" or other similar ideas, but highs and lows is just simple and easy to understand.  Even Pony tries her best.  Tonight, her high was, "playing" and while I could think of a number of times when she hit low points today (thanks to the ever communicative tantrum), she said she wasn't sad today at all.  And so be it.  

It's always interesting to hear what the other two say.  I'm often surprised that what I perceived to be a low point in, say, Pito's day, wasn't such a big deal to her, and that Plava's high points were points that I wouldn't have necessarily guessed.  Now, today wasn't like that.  Plava's high points all had to do with candy and cookies she got at church, but you know.  There are those times too!  :)

The nice thing about doing the highs and lows is that it's great to get a chance to really reflect on the day, and what brings life to us individually, and what takes life away and brings us down.  We decided tonight that it would be interesting to keep a family journal, or a list, of our daily highs and lows, and look at it from time to time to see patterns and learn more about each other.  Wouldn't that be interesting?

For instance, my low was a moment this morning when I was feeling sorry for myself because of something I wished I had.  And that speaks to my general feelings of self-pity that I deal with on a daily basis.  My high was visiting my clients this afternoon and getting the chance to breathe some confidence into the mom as she doubted her ability to breastfeed her baby.  I got this amazing chance to be a true tool of change for her, and that is a gift that I can't take for granted.  I think it speaks to how much I yearn to really make a difference with people outside my general circle of friends, and how much life I receive from truly serving the people I work with!

After we shared highs and lows, we got the girls into PJ's and went down to their bedroom to read the final few chapters in a novel I've been reading to them.  I know, it sounds so quintessential, right?  A cute little family all huddled around a book in the evening, in their "jammies", snuggled and giggling and just as happy as can be.  Nope.  Pony jumped on and off my lap so many times that I was needing to whisper "patience..." to myself just to keep from throwing her physically onto the floor and away from me.  Plava was listening intently but rolling around on the floor, nearly kicking my in the head again and again.  Pito was jumping around the room, poking Pony and causing screamy tantrums, and then whining that she "didn't know what to do" and just wanted to watch the movie (the book was made into a movie - note to self: don't tell them that before you read it....).  I had just about reached the end of my rope by the time the book was over, but managed to calm myself enough to enjoy a loving good-night before scooting out of the room and upstairs.  

And now they're all asleep.

It's these small things within our family that are so good.  The laid-back Sunday meals in front of the screen, the sharing of highs and lows, and sitting around reading a book together - these things are the things of life!  What would we do without them?  We'd be less connected, possibly less happy, maybe even feel that we knew each other less.  I love these things, even though I felt so fed up by the end of it.  I wouldn't trade these times for anything.  

I really do hope that as we make the transition to a smaller place and enter a life in which we don't have as much yard work, things to fix, stuff to put away, and physical distance between us, we have more space to do more of this.  I love the idea.  Love it.  

Simply wonderful.  Wonderfully simple.  Can't wait.  

the (sweet) small things (By Laura)

It was a crisp, sunny afternoon yesterday, and the sun glistened off the wet road and grass and leaves that had been rained on only hours before.  It was the kind of sun that was sharp and more distant than the summer sun.  It was warm, but not hot; it felt like fall.  No leaves had dropped off yet, though the trees seemed to show signs of fatigue, and even the smell in the air spoke of the season to come.

It was the first day of school for most kids.  Many of our friends' children would be nervously entering their new classrooms and meeting their new teachers.  Part of me remembered with nostalgia the excitement and nervousness of the first day of high school, feeling older and yet so young at the same time.  Oh the torture of that morning routine.  How could one brush their teeth when their teeth were chattering?  Fall, and particularly that day after labour day, bring new things, new beginnings.

Even though we homeschool, we all feel that same jittery feeling.  In my own heart, it displays itself both in bubbling excitement and in a wee sense of dread that it's going to be a really hectic month.  September is just crazy.  Just.  Crazy.  New routines, new activities, new leaves to turn over, and now, a new way of living as we embark on this simplicity thing.

I was amazed and gleeful when I heard my two older girls say, "Mom, we wish we were starting homeschool TODAY."  Our two days of classes don't start for another two weeks, and I had been planning to start homeschool next week.  We just got back from our road trip two days ago and I needed some days to organize my thoughts and ground myself.  Apparently they had something else in mind!  What a great way to start the school year - with excitement and longing.

This year, we will be trying to keep things simple, and let me tell you, it's not easy with kids.  As a parent, it's so easy to fall into the trap of living vicariously through your kids.  That parent within me wants them to try EVERY ACTIVITY AVAILABLE because, well, there's just SO MUCH to try!!!  Horse riding lessons, learning an instrument, sports, art classes, cooking classes, gymnastics, dance, the list goes on and on and on.  And I'm just talking about extracurricular stuff here!  (Although it kind of all melds into the school experience since we generally do homeschool classes held during the day...)  The girls are also really excited about a homeschool theatre program they'll be in this year.  They get to rehearse once a week for the entire year, and then put on a professional-level musical in the spring.  THIS, my friends, is exciting.

But to fit in all these things as well as school....let me just say that I need to be REALLY deliberate about how choosy I am.  Schedules can NOT be overly full.  That just doesn't fit with our philosophy of simplicity, and I just don't think it's a good thing in general!  Kids need down time, people!  They need quiet, restful, creative time!  Alone!  (But I digress...)

I sat down to get some things sorted and after a wee bit, decided to make some chai.  It's a recipe a friend gave me that is so delicious, so sweet and spicy and warm.  It reminds me of fall, and it reminds me of being simple.  It's the moments in which I get to sit with a cup of chai and read a book or gaze out the window that make me feel human, afloat, grounded.

And so to you all I wish the most wonderful, joy-filled, exciting, and fulfilling September imaginable.  I intend to do it up right, with chai in a mug, a good book in hand, and three rascally, funny, lovely girls by my side.


Recipe for Chai
I never received portions, so I just throw a bunch of stuff in and it tastes great every time!  Just try and put more tea than spices.

Loose Leaf Tea - Assam or Rooibos (or both)
Cardamom Seeds
Fennel Seeds
Cinnamon Stick
Black Pepper Seeds (optional)
Fresh Ginger (not optional - a whole chunk of it!)

Throw it all into a pot with, oh, 6 cups of water?  Boil, then reduce and simmer for 1 hour.

After an hour, pour it all into a pot.

Add the same amount of milk/soy milk/almond milk (6 cups?), add honey, another cinnamon stick, and more ginger, and heat.

Strain and serve immediately or cool in the fridge for a lovely cool chai drink!

reconsidering connectivity (By Laura)

This was my facebook status yesterday:

"So far, I am more frustrated than pleased with the new iOS. This is a serious first world problem. Someone bring me some cheesecake."

I thought it was funny.  And it's true - the latest download of for the iPhone system has bogged my smartphone down and it is now jamming fairly regularly.  Annoying, especially when I use my phone for all sorts of things throughout the day.  Google maps, email, facebook, surfing, calendar, camera... the list goes on.

(Why do we still refer to them as "phones" anyway?)

I'm guessing most people would decide that the system needs to be tweaked so we can get back to our normal use of the phone.  I feel somewhat differently.  My beef lies with the fact that I've become completely reliant on the thing.  This bothers me.  I can't tell you why.  It just does.

I guess I feel that I don't want to be a slave to a little computer in my hand.  I don't actually enjoy being connected all the time, everywhere I go.  I don't enjoy that I pick it up at all hours of the day just to fill a moment of boredom.  Boredom is a GOOD THING, people!  Those are the moments in which we think about things, about life, when we get creative ideas, make plans, make decisions!  If I am filling up every little empty moment with my phone, I am missing out.  MISSING OUT.  I can't emphasize this enough.  I can say that my life has become more full and less thoughtful since I got the iPhone.  

I was watching Harry Potter: The Philosopher's Stone the other day with Plava (note to self: that movie is too scary for an 8 year old!), and reflected on the fact that when the kids were wanting to know about a certain character that had been named, they had to do some research in the library...in BOOKS.  When do we do that now?  Remember having to do that in school?  I mean, I never liked research.  I found it tedious.  But really, there is something lost when we wonder something and then just reach for our phones and google it.  Instant access to all sorts of information, good or bad.

Louis C K, the comedian, was recently on a talk show talking about this smartphone business and really says some good, and sad, things about it.  Here - watch it.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/yR8E8wQhseA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

And so here I am, wondering, for the thousandth time in the past year, whether I should trade the iPhone in for a good old flip phone.  My cousin suggested this humorously in the comments of my status, and it reminded me of the huge impact this would have on my level of constant busyness.  A simple flip phone with calls and texts only.  That sounds so heavenly.  Yes, it would be harder to go back to using a map book, and reducing the frequency of my email and facebook checks (from 50 a day to 2 or 3), but doesn't that sound refreshing?  Doesn't it sound like there would be so much more room for, oh, reading, thinking, sitting still and listening, enjoying the flavour of a good cup of coffee, feeling the warm sun on my face, smelling the crunchy leaves of fall?  It's enough to make me swoon.

Well, we shall see.  I think it may fit very well with this whole simplifying thing....

(PS - here's a link to another great piece on the overuse of smartphones!)
http://gawker.com/short-film-about-smartphone-overuse-is-smart-poignant-1189811144

because we like the "little things"... (By Laura)

So we have been doing lots of making of things.  The girls and I made a rubber egg over the past few days with vinegar, an egg and a jar.  Remember that experiment?  Fun!

We've been making chai, as you know, and (a family favourite:) kale chips....

(YUM!)

...and caramel apple cider (so delicious!)...

And Ryan has made, once again, his famous home made yogurt.  How I love it.  Yum!  

This is all a part of the change.  It's not just about a smaller home.  It's not just about less stuff.  It's about enjoying the simple, enjoyable things in life - having the space the enjoy it!  Having the time and the moments to enjoy it!  Even though life has been hectic over the past while, we are carving out space for these things, and it makes all the difference.  

Here are some recipes fer y'all.

Caramel Apple Cider

http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/caramel-apple-cider/a2c74261-0a5c-4bbf-8e08-ed347ff58e75

Kale Chips

Ingreds: Kale, Olive Oil, Sea Salt

Wash, dry and tear the kale into pieces.  Place in bowl and toss with olive oil and sea salt.  Put in oven at 350 degrees for 10-15 minutes, until crispy but still green (not turning yellow).  EAT!

Homemade Yogurt

http://www.davidlebovitz.com/2013/05/homemade-yogurt-recipe/

blustery, beautiful fall (By Laura)

We are in it!  It's autumn!  I love it!  Aaaah!

We happily welcome the wearing-pants, cozy-drinks,warm-inside-and-cool-outside days.  Today is a windy, grey. wet day, and I love it!

I've been expressing a lot of our difficulty lately on the blog.  I'm aware of it.  In fact, it has been a very challenging few weeks.  I can't quite describe it adequately except to say that apparently making a counter-culture change that requires courage and a shift of mindset is not as easy as we anticipated! What I can say, though, is this.  Along with the nerves and the hard parts (in fact overwhelming those things) is an intense assurance that we're on a good path.  Not only that, but we're REALLY excited!

It is actually fun to set up the house for showings.  I'm not kidding.  The kids even get a bit excited about it.  Setting things up as perfectly as possible, pretending that we live in a pristine environment all the time...hahaha.

Things are exciting.  We are excited about the potential of a smaller home, and a larger life.  We are excited about having less stuff to clutter our home, our minds, our time, our bank account.  We are excited about being more generous*, more open to possibilities, more adventurous, less tied down to debt, less reliant on every dollar, less embarrassed for having "more".  (Okay, that last one is one of my skeletons that have been unleashed throughout this process.  Have I mentioned it's been a challenging few weeks?  I've met some deep parts of me that I have kept hidden for a good long time... If for the inner-purge alone, this has been a really meaningful process.  I feel another blog post coming on about just that!)

* Aaaand if I can just speak into that comment about being more generous.  Ryan and I are true believers in giving, no matter how much we have, and even if it hurts a bit.  We don't feel that having more money makes us any more able to give than we are now.  It just excites us to truly (potentially) have more to give.

So we are feeling great.  The cloud of the past few weeks has lifted off my head.  I can't tell you how dark and dreary it was for me.  (Ryan has a different experience himself...) I couldn't think straight, and instead just had to hold on to what I knew made sense when we made this decision.  The clouds have cleared (the metaphorical ones, at least) and I'm back on track as eager as before, if not more.

So here's to squishing ourselves smaller and smaller!!  Bring it on!

sad news (By Laura)

I stood there awkwardly with the newspapers and mail in my arms, wondering whether I should have waited a bit longer.  Pito and Pony were climbing in one of our front yard trees and I was standing, watching the back end of our neighbours' car that had just pulled in, down the long driveway that separates our lots and into their back yard area.  

"They're probably really tired after a long drive. I should just come back in a bit..." I thought to myself, reminding myself that they're older, and they might not be up for news such as this right away.  

So I turned to walk back into our house when I heard, "Laura!" 

She had just gotten out of the car and spotted me holding their mail and papers and wanted to take them off my hands.  Janet (we'll call her) has a soft spot for us, and particularly the girls, and is always happy to pop out and say hello, asking the girls what's going on in their little lives that day.  She walked back and I went to meet her, handing her the mail.  Chatter ensued.  They had a nice trip, were heading off again in a few days and we would be watching their place again while they were away.  Same old story - the loveliest of neighbour relationships.  We watch out for each other, water each others' plants and gardens, and make sure the house looks secure while the other is away.  They almost always bring back little gifts or treats for our girls, and we have even come home to fresh groceries in our fridge.  You really can't beat that!  We've received soup when we had strep throat, and lots and lots of stories of the neighbourhood in the "old days".  Bob (we'll call him) is a talker!  He has a good two or three stories to tell every time we see him, and a good story-teller he is with his smooth radio persona kind of voice!  He loves putting on funny voices for the girls and making them laugh, ranting about how things aren't as safe as they were once (back when he would just call the police when they were going out of town so they'd keep an eye on the place), and making sure the girls are helping their mom bring in the groceries and empty garbage cans.  He's an old school hero, and we love it!  

So when there was a pause in the conversation with Janet, I had to begin to tell her what I had come out to say.  "So, we wanted to let you guys know that.... (pause, and she looked at me with a sad, knowing look)...we've decided to put the place on the market and move on."  I didn't know what else to say, so I just kept going with everything in my brain.  "We are so sad to leave you guys.  In fact, you were a huge consideration in whether we would leave at all, but we just feel the need to pare down and have a smaller place, which will allow us a little more financial space to do more as a family.  It's so hard but we made the decision.  We're really sad to have to tell you."  

She nodded and looked understanding, and said, "I understand, but oh that makes me feel almost like crying!" and then she teared up.  And then so did I.  And I said, "Me too!!  It's so hard because we have such wonderful neighbours and we'll miss you guys a lot!"  "Well, so do we!  But I understand." Smiles and trying to choke down tears.  

Then the girls ran over and started chatting, and Bob rounded the corner, telling jokes and chatting.  I bid them farewell with a quick, "Tell him the sad news..." towards Janet, to which she nodded and smiled.  And I went back in.

Tears.  More tears.  Then a good blubber in the bathroom.  

That was so much harder than I anticipated.  I knew it would be hard.  In fact, I had been anxious about it all week.  We needed to tell them as soon as they got home because the sign would be going up soon and we didn't want to surprise them.  Oh the pain of that moment!!  

It's a day later already but I still feel sad.  I still feel teary over it.  I wish I could bring them along to be our next door neighbours wherever we go.  But we can't.  It's one of the hardest parts about leaving this place.  I would argue that it's harder than anything we've had to do yet, including taking the step to list the house.  

I love those neighbours.  Last year we had them over for Thanksgiving dinner, and we will again this year, and I hope to keep inviting them as the years go on, because all it takes is effort to keep connected, you know?  All it takes is a call, or an email, and you're back together.  

I'm usually okay with goodbye's, but this was a really, really rotten one.  Don't really know what else to say...!

the toughest steps yet (By Laura)

Well, after a lot of thought, preparation, purging, viewing some places around town, talking, more thought, and more talking, we made the surprisingly difficult leap and listed our house.  This is not as easy at it looks, people!!  It's great to talk about simplifying, and paring down one's possessions, and moving into a smaller space, and living a simpler life, but actually doing it?  Yikes!

Purging has been fun.  I can't deny that.  There is something really freeing, and dare I say addicting, about getting rid of stuff.  Emptying out closets that we haven't touched in years, clearing out the "extras" in the garage and crawl spaces, these things feel good.  It feels like a kind of "spring cleaning", even though it's fall.  It feels fresh, a little less cluttered, and brings about a feeling of peace.  This is the easy part.

And talking about simplifying is fun too!  In fact, lots of you have gotten excited along with us about this idea!  Simplifying one's stuff really DOES lead to less time spent cleaning, less stress over where to put things, how to keep things in good shape, and where to put new things we buy!  It has been by far the quickest change that we have been able to enjoy - less stuff really is better.  My days at home with the girls, because we homeschool, tend to be really, really cluttered and messy.  I mean, we are bringing out art supplies, books and notebooks and pens and pencils, science experiment stuff, poster presentation stuff, not to mention dishes and food!  All of these things are enough to drive a mom batty, but adding in a toddler who just loves to empty drawers and toy bins while we do all this exciting stuff, now that just stresses me out.  I watch her do it, while trying to focus on helping the older girls do their math (no easy task!), and I have this growing feeling of anxiety over the progressively larger mound of clean up I have to do.  

I know, I know.  The kids should clean up too.  And they do somewhat.  But really, when I compare the amount of energy it takes me to clean things up against the amount of energy it takes me to nag them to clean up after themselves....oh my.  Not comparable.  Nonetheless, I try and ensure that they do some cleaning, and clean they do.  (Am I off track again...?)

So we have purged, simplified (at least stuff...) and we have also viewed a number of places - apartments and townhouses exclusively.  It has been fun, and educational, and inspiring, and scary.  I won't deny it.  This is a bit of a scary jump! 

Here's a little insight into my brain as I go back and forth over this:

"What if it's just too small?"

"Oh, poor first world family, having to fit into 1200 square feet.  Snif!"

"What if I regret losing the big yard for the girls to play in?  I have a strong belief in the importance of the outdoors!"

"There are parks.  Especially if you chose a place close to one.  And it's going to take some effort to get out, but you can do it!"

"But our beautiful house!  I do love it!  And our neighbourhood is so nice!"

"And you've enjoyed it for a good long 4 years.  Be thankful!"

"But we will miss our neighbours!  And they have been such good neighbours!"

"Yes, they have.  And you can still see them, with a little effort.  You'll have new neighbours too."

"But what a huge thing moving is!  So much work!  It would be so much easier to stay!"

"Yes, but think of your values.  Think of the reasons you're making this change.  Think of closer proximity with your family, less time upkeeping and more time together, more room in the budget for family adventures, feeling more satisfied with how your making use of your resources, being able to give away more than you do now, being able to enjoy the small things in life rather than being bogged down with housework!"

And on and on it goes.  Honestly, these are daily arguments going through my head.

But we are sure.  Some days more than others.  It's exciting and terrifying.  

So we went and listed our house.  We had no further steps to take.  We had reached the crossroads, and so there was nothing left to do but bail on the whole thing or take that leap.  

It was a bit of a nerve-wracking meeting.  Thankfully we love our realtors and they know us fairly well.  We came up with a price and signed the papers.  Woo!  I feel the kind of adrenaline that only someone who is doing something wild and crazy would feel, like as if I'm about to bungie jump!  It's going to be great but I'm nervous!!  Aaaah!  Wish us luck!!