It has been such a roller coaster. I'll be honest - I'm so tired of talking about it. I am not accustomed to living through so much constant drama. I don't like it. I don't like to complain about it. I don't like to be the one on the emotional roller coaster that never ends. I like to be chill, okay with things, go-with-the-flow. So this has been a challenge, and that part of our journey is over.
Breathe.
Shortly after we sold and finished all that up, our two older girls had their "theatre week". They have been a part of a homeschool theatre program since September and have been rehearsing "Willy Wonka Jr". The week after we sold was their week of dress rehearsals and performances, myself working backstage and realizing just how much work goes into a live musical theatre production! Whew! It went really well, and then theatre week was over.
Breathe.
Ryan and I had been talking about doing some counselling for a few years - a particular kind called "listening prayer" counselling. There was a highly recommended couple that offered this particular kind of counselling that we knew of and I had booked us in for a session a month or so before, not really knowing what to expect. It was really, really good. It was new and different, but so good to experience. We talked, and prayed, and I met a whole new character of God that I hadn't met before. Swept me right off my feet and left me reeling for days.
Breathe.
Then we noticed that our cat was acting a little unusual. She seemed to not be eating. She disappeared for a few days and then returned, still not touching her food or water. We tried different food. We observed her. Nothing. She grew weaker and tired. She wasn't young, but we expected her to last longer. Then one night she came up the back steps and meowed at the door in her usual way, but when I opened it, she fell over, meowing, too weak to walk any further. I picked her up, held her purring little body in my arms, and thus began the discussion of putting her down. She never really walked again after that. I carried her into our bed where she slept, and held her in my arms otherwise. She purred but didn't seem to be able to do much more. The next day, I took her in and went through the horrible and painful experience of holding her sweet head and paw as the vet put her down. I watched the light go out.
Breathe.
Then one day, after me worrying and worrying about a looming soccer game that our eldest had told me she WASN'T GOING TO GO TO even after she had started soccer and really really really really really really really really wanted to play, she ran into the house and hollered that our neighbour down the street played for the same organization, then proceeded to put on all her soccer garb, grab a ball, and dribble it around our front yard.
Breathe.
Then we got a request from a friend who was going out of town for a month to dog-sit her big loveable Weimaraner while she was gone. He was dropped off the day after our cat was put down and filled a huge void in my heart as he seemed to adopt me as his new foster-mom.
Breathe.
It's my birthday today. It was a glorious day. It was filled with phone calls from loved ones, facebook well wishes from friends and family, meals out, good conversations, walks in the sunshine, moments of excitement and inspiration, laughter and light.
Breathe deeply, and be thankful.
I am thankful. Life isn't always happy or smooth or easy, but it wouldn't be as rich if it were. The light shines so much brighter in the midst of the dark night, doesn't it? God is so good, and shows up in such amazingly dramatic ways in the midst of the hard parts of life.
